On good parenting...

[Mom accidently places hot food on Jenna's finger.]
Jenna: Ouch!
Mom: That was for revenge. Oh! I mean, oops!

On food titles...

Mom: Have a sweet potato, they're nature's perfect food.
Dad: The perfect food?
Mom: Yes.
Jenna: I thought that was the banana.
Mom: No, you're wrong.
Jenna: Are you sure? Oh, yeah. Bananas are nature's candy.
Lisa: No, that's raisins.
Mom: Jeez, Jenna. Get with it. Have a sweet potato.

On pet care...

Mom: Jenna, give the ferret some water.
Jenna: No!
Mom: Jenna, give her water... or give her death!

On personal hygiene...

Kara: Oh no! I have to shower tonight. I hate this time of week... it burns.

On parental support...

Dad: Yeah, Lis, that sounds like a good idea.
Mom: Jenna, how'd you do on your chemistry test?
Jenna: I got a C+.
Dad: What happened, stupid?