On good conversationalists...

Jenna mumbles something.
Lisa: What?
Jenna: Nothing. I was talking to my candy corn.

On words...

Jessie: I hate when ribs are too fatty, then it's like, bouncy when you eat them.
Lisa: Bouncy?
Jessie: Yeah, bouncy.
Jenna: It's lobulated.
Jessie: Yeah! Lobulated! You sound smarter than me.

On funds...

Lisa: Oh, the MDA telethon is tonight.
Mom: Why is the NBA having a telethon?!

On television...

Mom: Have you watched that show 'Splash?'
Lisa: Hell no. I watch shows about zombies. And about fat people. That's my jam.

On titles...

Mom: Yeah like that other actor who is a jerk. The guy from Three Men and a Baby.

Long pause.

Lisa: Charlie Sheen?

Mom: Two Men and a...

Lisa: No. Let her get there.

Mom: Three... Two... Some Number of Men and... something.

On sweet lives...

Lisa: Honey is antibacterial. Things can't live in it.
Mom: Why wouldn't things live in it? It's so delicious. I would live in it.

On hacking...

Mom: I tried to put 'password' as the password to [the neighbor's] wifi network. I don't know if it worked.

Lisa: You're quite the hacker, aren't you?

On plans...

Mom. So, flu shots and a movie tomorrow?

Lisa. You know how to party.

On E...

Mom: Kara, you have to see Myla. She dances now.

Lisa: Yeah, Jessie says she gets out of control and knocks herself over. Then she gets up and hugs everyone. Actually, she might be on ecstacy. Could she be on ecstacy?

On cellular swearing...

Mom: My phone doesn't know the word bitch. It always writes 'birch.' Can you teach it bitch?

Lisa fixes phone.

Lisa: There you go. Bitch away.

On beetles...

Lisa: It looks like a stag beetle.

Jenna: A WHAT beetle?

Lisa: Stag.

Jenna: Oh I thought you said stab. Stag is much better.

On saviors...

Kara finds the missing blueberries.
Lisa: Kara! You saved the day.
Kara: I always do. I honestly always do.

On accents...

Lisa speaks in a questionable British accent.
Silence.
Lisa: Sorry. I'm not sure what that accent was.
Laura: Yeah, it went in and out.
Lisa: It was a medley.

On fiestas...

Laura: I hate that it's a Mexican reception.
Lisa: I think you mean recepción.

On Olympic silliness...

Laura: Isn't it kind of silly that people do this? The Olympics and fireworks and whatnot?
Lisa: Isn't it weird that humans can't just do nice fun stuff like this and making great movies and being nice instead of having wars and stuff like that?
Laura: No, because we don't agree. And we have to prove we're right by killing them.

On athletic bodily functions...

Laura: Did you ever see that video where the weightlifter lifts the weight up and then projectile vomits?
Lisa: No, but I've seen the picture where some weightlifter has diarrhea.
Laura: I've seen that picture.
Lisa: Well that's not going to happen during the Color Run tomorrow. Brown is NOT one of the included colors.
Laura: Hey, Color RUN. RUNS. Geddit?

On Olympic guests...

Lisa: There's going to be a giant Voldemort.
Kara: Why? Oh, because he lives there?

On British classes...

Lisa: Kara said we could go to her classes. I think that sounds fun.
Laura: Well we don't. I want to be somewhere else. Eating.

On arrivals...

Kara walks in the door just as Mom is complaining about packing for vacation.

Kara: Is the vacation bitch here?
Mom: Yeah, you just got here.
Lisa: She turned that right around on you.
Kara: Yes, yes she did.

On musculature...

Lisa: I went running, sort of, on Monday. Then I went to Zumba. So I was pretty sore from running and because dancing uses muscles I don't usually use.
Laura: Your groove muscles?
Lisa: Yeah. They've atrophied.