On allergies...

Jenna: What's guacamole?
Lisa: It's made out of avocados.
Jenna: I think that's on my list of things I can't eat. Or maybe it was on my chinchilla's list.

On egos...

Laura: Wow, Adam. How can you be so hungry all the time when you're so full of yourself?

On mono...

Laura: So, Mom. How do you feel about Jenna having mono, the kissing disease?
Mom: Well, considering the fact that Kara had it first, not too good.

On humor...

(Jessie finishes telling a bathroom-related story)
Lisa: Wow. How old are you?
Jessie: I like poop jokes.

On prom dresses...

Jenna: Isn't this dress too expensive?
Mom: It's okay. We never had to buy one for Laura.

On likes...

Laura: Hey guys, know what I like? Really wide, flat big-screen tvs.
Lisa: Oh. Hey guys, know what I like? Really big piles of money.