On food...

Adam: Man, I wish eating took longer.
Lisa: It can, if you chew.

Some vintage wisdom...

(On the way home from updating dad's glasses from this to this.)
Mom: Rick - are you cheeks jealous that they don't get to see the road anymore?
Dad: (angry eyes.)

On a limb...

Jenna: So she just decides on a limb that she wants kids.

On fabric softener...

Laura: I like it, I just don't understand how it opens during the wash cycle.
Jessie: Yeah, I don't know either. Maybe Mom knows.
Laura: Hey Mom - how do Downy Balls work? I mean, why do they open in the washing machine and not just stay closed?
Mom: They're free.

On prom dresses...

(Laura is trying to lace up the back of Jenna's confusing prom dress.)
Jenna: Hurry up!
Mom: C'mon Laura, we want to see it!
Laura: I feel like I'm working on a Rubik's Cube!

On dating...

Jessie: Well, if Laura was dating someone that we all hated...
Laura: (leans over to Jenna)
Laura: At least I'm dating someone!