On eating...

Jessie: I read that a rule of thumb was to give toddlers as many tablespoons of each food as they are years old, so Noah should get about 1.5 tablespoons of food per meal.
Mom: So that means I can have...

On Beauty. . .

Mom: You know who is so ugly?
Jessie, Jenna & Laura: Who?
Mom: Jessica Sarah Parker!
(Jessie, Jenna & Laura laugh)
Mom: Why, what do you guys call her?

On Time. . .

Laura: My foot hurts really bad.
Mom: Well you should wrap it in an ace bandage.
Laura: No, I wouldn't be able to dance.
Mom: You need to take it easy Laura, you just had surgery two months ago.
Laura: It was not two months ago, it was December.
Mom: (quietly counting on her fingers) December, January, February, March, April, May. It's been five months?!
Laura: Yeah.
Mom: Holy crap! Time flies! Well you dance your little heart out!