On sucrose...

Noah: Cookies aren't good for your body!
Laura: Yes they are!
Noah: No they are not!
Laura: They help your hair grow! Look how long my hair is! I eat cookies all the time!

On degenerating conversation...

Mom: Rick! I don't like the new toilet stuff I bought. I usually buy blue, but this time I bought green. I don't like green. I should have bought the blue one.
Laura: So is this what you guys talk about now?

On skillz...

Mom: Try that macaroni and cheese - I made it from scratch.
Laura: Where'd you get the recipe?
Mom: Martha Stewart.
Laura: Ooh. She is one talented bitch.

On ideas...

After a Toyota commercial where a truck drives through fire.


Mom: What was the point of that? Who drives through fire?
Laura: I will, now.