On eternal love...

Laura: Do you want to see who's in bed with me?
Lisa: Uh, okay...
Laura holds up a package of chewy Chips Ahoy cookies.
Laura: You can't beat a love like ours.

On Memories...

A tinfoil ball thrown by Noah whizzes over Adam's head and lands on the table in front of him...
Adam: Who threw that!?! Man, it's like I'm in high school again but it's my kids makin' fun of me.

On growing...

Mom: Haven't I told you this story? When I went and had a physical and came home and Grandpa Satanek was talking about how I weighed 105 lbs and he made up this song 'A hundred and five barrels of CRAP!'...I ran out of the house crying....what I wouldn't give now to weigh 105 lbs!

On Badonkadonks...

Jenna: Mom, you have a huge a.

Mom: I know - Dad always sings that song, 'I like the big girls that have the big butts....and I cannot lie.'

When Dad was questioned later he replied, "I NEVER sing that song."

On Pickles...

Jenna: I hate sweet pickles. It's like they're trying to be candy.

On accountability...

Jenna: What's Jessie doing tomorrow?
Mom: Obviously I don't keep track of her or she wouldn't be pregnant.

On mascots...

Laura: What's the name of the team that Daddy likes?
Jocelyn: ...
Laura: The Green Bay...
Jocelyn: Babies.