On the Olympic Procession...

Jenna: Angola? Don't they make nice sweaters there?

On greetings...

Kara: Hey, Jenna- Chelby said "Hi, ugly." Well, she said hi. I added the 'ugly' part.

On late night phone calls...

Laura: Who is that? What, are they, dumb? I'm gonna answer, and be like, "Hey... dummies."

On curiousity...

Jessie: (to waitress) Can I have a question?

On nationality...

Kara: I wish I was Italian.
Lisa: You're not. You're Polish*.
Kara: The North Pole?

*Ukrainian is not Polish. I was kidding.

On lined paper...

Kara: Look how big these lines are! That's for the idiots.

On Mary-Kashley...

Kara: Can I get this video? They're my idols.
Lisa: No, definately not.
Kara: Just kidding. Crack's bad, and I know it.

On stomachs...

Kara: (to Laura) Eew! Your stomach is gross. It looks so unhappy.

On being a lady...

Laura: I did a whole lot of spittin' and fartin' while I was on that jet ski.

On nature...

Mom: You guys should get masks and swim by the shore, you can see- Ouch! HEY! SOME PEOPLE SHOULD WATCH WHERE THEY'RE THROWING THEIR NOODLES, BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE GET HIT IN THE HEAD WITH THEM!

On sharing cake...

Laura: The more for you, the skinnier for me!

On facewash...

Kara: It burns... with the passion... of six horses.

On fair play....

Kara: Stop it!
Laura: Okay, okay. Truce.
Kara: No. Don't touch me.
Laura: If you don't truce me, I'll do it again.
Kara: Okay. Fine. (truces)
Laura: Eh, I'll probably still do it again.

On dancing...

Laura: I'm sorry, but if you've been doing dance for two years and you still can't count the music... its time to start playing softball.

On sunscreen...

Alex Trebek: This element is added to sunscreen as the major protective agent.
Laura: SPF!

On florists...

TV: Well, my dad's a florist!
Jenna: Well, my uncle's a florist!
Kara: (blank stare)
Jenna: What? Uncle Ricky's a florist!
Kara: Oh. I thought florists were people who put in floors.

On abbreviations...

Jenna: Wanna get Taco Bell? Do you like it?
Lisa: Yeah, it's dece.
(pause)
Jenna: Two?

On candy dangers...

Kara: Who was that guy in Tommy Boy? The one who acted like Jack Black?
Lisa: Chris Farley.
Kara: He's dead, right? How'd he die?
Lisa: An overdose.
Kara: Drugs?
Lisa: No, candy.
Kara: (solemnly) Candy kills.

On that David Duchovny song...

Mom: Ooh! I know this one! This is that David Doo-glimee one!

On nudity...

Laura: Last night a daddy-long legs saw me naked.