On innards...

Mom: Hey! Did you take the other half of my gizzard?!
Laura: Yes. I stuffed it down my pants.

On habits...

Jessie: Mom just stabbed me in the boob with a fork!
Jenna: She does that.

On Kara still being gross...

Kara sneezes.
Jenna: Ew! Kara! Cover your mouth!
Kara: Ew! No! I don't want that!

On Kara being gross...

Kara burps in Jenna's face.
Jenna: Bring it again see what happens.

On memories...

Jenna: Lisa and I did a duet of this song during Siblings Weekend at Valpo!
Kara: I was there, too.
Jenna: Oh.

On royalty...

Laura spins like Noah.
Noah: Hey! You can't do that move! You're not a princess!
Laura: Can I be a princess?
Noah: You're not even wearing a skirt.
Laura pulls her sweater down like a skirt.
Laura: How about now?
Kara: Ugh. Fine. You can be a princess for a little bit.

On dysmorphology...

Noah: Hey Gummy- your ears look like crazy. Like Tinkerbell.

On friends...

Noah, to Moo: Ha, ha, ha- you like me.

On good deeds...

Lisa: So you don't do it because it's right, you do it because you get recognition for it?
Mom: I don't know why I do the things I do.

On moderation...

Mom: My parents drink Manhattans, too.
Grandma Kinsley: Of course they do; they're good solid drinkers. Don't tell them I said that.

On mixology...

Mom: Whiskey sours! Remember? You put it in the blender. A can of whiskey, a can of...
Jessie: Sour?

On celebrations...

Mom: Gam, do you want wine? You can have a little wine.
Everyone: Mom!
Mom: Oh, she drinks wine.
Gam: I used to get loaded.
Everyone: laughs.
Gam: No, I never got loaded. Except on New Year's Eve.

On wearing out one's welcome...

Mom: Mom, your hair feels like Moo's hair. The dog, Ma. The dog.
Grandma Kinsley: Thanks a lot.
To Grandma Northrup: I think it's time for them to leave, they're getting insulting.

On revenge...

Mom: Who's the jackass now!?

On turning around...

Laura: I forgot something!
Dad: Too bad!
Laura: It was to say I love you.

On homonyms...

Mom: Okay, I'm hot.
Laura: Me too. Oh... you mean temperature.

On balance...

Lisa: Noah, you're doing such a good job pedaling that tricycle!
Noah: Lisa, maybe when you're a little girl you can pedal like me.
Lisa: I ride a real bike.
Noah: Whut?

On legible fashion...

Jenna: What does Noah's shirt say!?
Jessie: Snugglebug.
Jenna: So cute!
Laura: I have a shirt that says that.
Lisa: Yeah, but it's creepy when you wear it.

On compliments...

Lisa: Jenna and I took all three dogs to Petco.
Laura: Oh really? Who got the most compliments?
Kara: Me.

On unspeakable grossness...

Squirting cow udder on television.
Everyone: Ew, gross!
Mom: That's what happens!
Everyone, louder: EW!