On Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix...

Mom: Okay, I just want to ask one question without everyone freaking out and yelling and threatening to take the book away from me.
Lisa: This is going to be good. Go.
Mom: What is a horcrux?

Kara: Harry Potter is hot and I'm going to marry Daniel Ratsniff.

Some liberal translations of some HP characters, courtesy of the mother:

Crookshanks = Crankshaw
Nagini = Ninguini (with clam sauce?)
Buckbeak = Beakdrill

Mom: The part I didn't get about the prophecies was why he only had one.
Lisa: What?
Mom: I thought in the book Harry had three of those prophecy things. Harry had three balls.
Jessie: What book were you reading?!

On mixes...

Mom: I saw the cutest dog on the news today. It was a Bichon mix.
Laura: Bichon mixed with what kind of dog?
Mom: Poodle, I think. It was gray.
Lisa: Know what I'd like to see a Bichon mixed with?
Mom: What?
Lisa: A blender.

On inventions...

Laura: (wearing weird sunglasses with white frames).
Lisa: Your sunglasses look like they're made by Apple.
Laura: Yeah, they do!
Lisa: iGlasses.