On Iron Man...

The movie has been on for 2.4 seconds.
Laura: Mom- no stupid questions.
Mom: What's going on? I don't get it.

Mom: A car battery is keeping him alive?

Mom: I don't like this movie.
Jenna: Mom, the torture is NOT bad. They were bobbing for apples in that last scene!

Kara: All I want for Christmas is the other half of my toenail!

Mom: You said this was a musical, Jen.
Jenna: I never said that.

Kara: It's all fun and games until I accidentally kick ya!

Mom: Rick, are you understanding this?
Dad: Yes.
Kara: It's a very simple movie, Mom. Even I get it.

Laura: I bet I look the best tomorrow night.
Kara: (unintelligible)
Laura: What did she say?
Lisa: I think she burped 'I highly doubt it.'

Mom: Uh oh! That's Jumanji music if I ever heard it!

Jenna: They said it'd be days before the shapnoids get to his heart.

Mom: Who are those guys?
Jenna: Private agents.
Mom: Double-oh somebodies?

Laura: I don't like the ending.
Mom: Why? They're smart people. They would have figured it out. What's "Ironman?"

On nicknames...

Mom: See? Random shit like this just shows up on my table.
Lisa: Those are Kara's.
Mom: Yeah! She's "random shit" girl.

On Home Security...

Adam: I have a baseball bat under my bed in case we have an intruder... since Jessie won't let me get a gun.
Jessie: That's right! We're not having guns with little kids, that's stupid.
Adam: I already have two guns...
[long pause]
Adam flexes both arms, everyone laughs.
Mom: False.