On skills...

Mom: You all can have side careers! Lisa, publishing books. Jessie and Jenna, photography...
Jenna: Laura and Kara don't have anything to offer.
Mom: Laura pole dances on Saturdays.

On deceptive names...

Lisa: Do you know who Flavor Flav is?
Jenna: I would be really impressed if she does.
Mom: Is it a dessert?

Lisa looks up a picture to show her.

Mom: Makes a shocked face. So he's a viking?