On memories...

Jenna: Lisa and I did a duet of this song during Siblings Weekend at Valpo!
Kara: I was there, too.
Jenna: Oh.

On royalty...

Laura spins like Noah.
Noah: Hey! You can't do that move! You're not a princess!
Laura: Can I be a princess?
Noah: You're not even wearing a skirt.
Laura pulls her sweater down like a skirt.
Laura: How about now?
Kara: Ugh. Fine. You can be a princess for a little bit.

On dysmorphology...

Noah: Hey Gummy- your ears look like crazy. Like Tinkerbell.

On friends...

Noah, to Moo: Ha, ha, ha- you like me.

On good deeds...

Lisa: So you don't do it because it's right, you do it because you get recognition for it?
Mom: I don't know why I do the things I do.

On moderation...

Mom: My parents drink Manhattans, too.
Grandma Kinsley: Of course they do; they're good solid drinkers. Don't tell them I said that.

On mixology...

Mom: Whiskey sours! Remember? You put it in the blender. A can of whiskey, a can of...
Jessie: Sour?

On celebrations...

Mom: Gam, do you want wine? You can have a little wine.
Everyone: Mom!
Mom: Oh, she drinks wine.
Gam: I used to get loaded.
Everyone: laughs.
Gam: No, I never got loaded. Except on New Year's Eve.

On wearing out one's welcome...

Mom: Mom, your hair feels like Moo's hair. The dog, Ma. The dog.
Grandma Kinsley: Thanks a lot.
To Grandma Northrup: I think it's time for them to leave, they're getting insulting.

On revenge...

Mom: Who's the jackass now!?

On turning around...

Laura: I forgot something!
Dad: Too bad!
Laura: It was to say I love you.

On homonyms...

Mom: Okay, I'm hot.
Laura: Me too. Oh... you mean temperature.

On balance...

Lisa: Noah, you're doing such a good job pedaling that tricycle!
Noah: Lisa, maybe when you're a little girl you can pedal like me.
Lisa: I ride a real bike.
Noah: Whut?

On legible fashion...

Jenna: What does Noah's shirt say!?
Jessie: Snugglebug.
Jenna: So cute!
Laura: I have a shirt that says that.
Lisa: Yeah, but it's creepy when you wear it.

On compliments...

Lisa: Jenna and I took all three dogs to Petco.
Laura: Oh really? Who got the most compliments?
Kara: Me.

On unspeakable grossness...

Squirting cow udder on television.
Everyone: Ew, gross!
Mom: That's what happens!
Everyone, louder: EW!

On freshness...

Adam: Necrotic hoohah. How does that happen?
Lisa: You don't use it?

On laziness...

Jessie: You're lazy.
Adam: I am NOT lazy - I've done more today than most people do in a lifetime.

On inheritance...

Mom: Another headband! Why do you have headbands everywhere?!
Lisa: Because they hurt my giant head and I take them off as soon as I get in and put them wherever I am! Thanks for my giant head, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome.
Mom: Well, you got your giant brain from me.
Lisa: Oh, yeah? Where'd you find it?

On Blue Eyes...

Laura: I WILL marry someone with blue eyes.

Jessie: Brown eyes can be pretty.

Laura: No. Whispers It's like you're full of poop.