On fans...

Mom, while watching IU game: Do you see Kara? She usually doesn't have a shirt on.

On Happy Feet...

Mom: I want to see that penguin movie. What's it called? Funny feet? No, it's an emotion. Laughing feet. No. Happy feet!

On accidents...

Laura pours milk and it goes everywhere. 
Mom: Oh you... special girl.

On loves...

Kara: I love whales. Whales and apes. Love 'em.

On stopping it...

Jenna: Hey! Quit creepin'!
Mom: I'll creep if I want to!

On gifts...

Jenna: Santa gave me a zit for Christmas.

On canines...

Mom: What's a Snoop Dogg?

On breakfast plans...

Dad: Is Jessie making her cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning again?
Jenna: Well you made yourself sick off of them last year so do you really want them?
Dad: Damn straight I do.

On beeps...

Dad: What is that NOISE?

Kara: My phone when I get a text. And I obviously can't turn it off cause I can't turn off my popularity, Rick!

On the depot...

After a discussion about toy trains set up to run around the perimeter of a room..
Kara: How do they do that?
Laura: They put a track up by the ceiling on a shelf.
Kara: Oh. I thought it was upside down, and then... physics was breaking in my head.

On cupcakes...

Laura: I hate that they probably started with someone making a cake in a cup. Holds out imaginary cupcake. "Here's a cake in a teacup." "Screw you."

On ideas...

Kara: What if we all just started doing bodily functions to start a band?

On allergies...

Laura: What are you allergic to?
Kara I don't know.
Laura: Your eyes are all watery!
Kara: I know.
Jenna: Your nose is all red!
Kara: I know.
Laura: Your face is all ugly. Oh that's not related.

On da club...

Noah is walking around in dress-up high heels.
Laura: Ain't no shame for a child to learn stiletto.
Laura and Kara: Stiletto, pumps, in the club!
Noah: In the clubhouse!

On habits...

Jessie: Why do you keep reading [annoying girl's] blog?
Laura: I don't know. It comes up on Reader and I think, "Agh what is this son of a bitch up to?"

On the mouths of babes...

While watching Sleeping Beauty.
Laura: Aurora rhymes with Laura. Should I be called Princess Laura?
Noah: You're not a princess.
Laura; whispered: I would be if I married a prince!
Noah: There are no princes in this world!
Laura: Ain't that the truth.

On cleaning up...

Jenna sees Kara drops a sprinkle on the kitchen floor; Kara doesn't pick up the sprinkle. Or anything. Ever. Jenna looks at her, expecting her to pick it up.
Kara: What? It was me tapping. Tap dances around.

On dental hygiene,,,

Laura: What are you, retarded? Putting toothbrush on a toothpaste...shut up.

On favorites...

Laura: I love any kind of fake cheese.

On weight...

Jessie: my legs are huge and fat
Adam: Yeah.
Jessie: What did I just say?
Adam: something about your legs?
Adam gets slapped in the arm.