On safety measures...

Dad: Frickin' safety frickin' crap!

On sugar...

Dad: Oooh. Let's go stare at the desserts.

On groins...

Kara: This is my pimp walk.
Lisa: Funny, it looks like an 'I pulled my groin' walk.
Kara: I know what a groin is. There's two of 'em, right?

On sandwich toppings...

Kara: Know what I hate? Sauerkraut. Like when you guys eat R&Bs. I mean, BLTs.
Lisa: Actually, they're called reubens.
Jenna: I don't usually eat Rhythm and Blues.

On why I like you...

Lisa: I like you because you listen to me.
Jenna: You like me because I'm what?

On reversed roles...

Lisa: Aw, look. The student has become the teacher.
Jenna: Yup. I'm a sophomore.

On flashing lights...

[As we approach a flashing orange yield light]
Jenna: Why is that flashing? WHY ARE YOU FLASHING?!?!

On depth...

Jenna: But I can't tell... is it a sticker, or does it actually stick up from the car?
Lisa: I think it's a sticker, and it has the illusion of depth. You know, like you.
Jenna: Hey, thanks! Wait...

On good parenting...

[Mom accidently places hot food on Jenna's finger.]
Jenna: Ouch!
Mom: That was for revenge. Oh! I mean, oops!

On food titles...

Mom: Have a sweet potato, they're nature's perfect food.
Dad: The perfect food?
Mom: Yes.
Jenna: I thought that was the banana.
Mom: No, you're wrong.
Jenna: Are you sure? Oh, yeah. Bananas are nature's candy.
Lisa: No, that's raisins.
Mom: Jeez, Jenna. Get with it. Have a sweet potato.

On pet care...

Mom: Jenna, give the ferret some water.
Jenna: No!
Mom: Jenna, give her water... or give her death!

On personal hygiene...

Kara: Oh no! I have to shower tonight. I hate this time of week... it burns.

On parental support...

Dad: Yeah, Lis, that sounds like a good idea.
Mom: Jenna, how'd you do on your chemistry test?
Jenna: I got a C+.
Dad: What happened, stupid?

On smells...

Lisa: I can smell the dumb from here!

On hilarity...

Mom: ... and then they burst into wild laughter, the little monkey-idiots...

On threats...

Mom: Yeah, Kara. I'll take you to Pitaya, so- not. Man, I wish I thought before I talked.

On people...

Lisa: What kind of world do you live in where people aren't mean?
Kara: I just don't talk to people.

On loud music...

Dad: Turn it down! That music is so loud I can't even think!
Kara: Then don't think.

On soup...

Waitress to Kara: I'm sorry, we're out of soup.
Laura: Ha. She wanted soup... her whole world just fell apart.

On stinks...

Jenna: Oh, that reeks! I just got a woof of it!