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August 13, 2008

The Long-Lost Florida Quotes

We bought a special poster to record our hilarity all vacation. It was jam-packed; a thing of true beauty. Then some jerk with short-term memory problems (okay, me) forgot it on the wall when we left - I hope it gave some amusement to the non-English-speaking housekeeping staff - and it was lost to the ages, wherever garbage in resorts like that ends up. Anyway, I managed to find most of the quotes and redeem my good name. So now without further ado I present: The Florida Quotes.

Lisa: You started [the Nintendo game] over?
Laura: Yeah. I wasn't finding all the coins, I wasn't getting everything... I just wasn't doing my best.

Jessie: I took the new body wash because I liked it.
Mom: Well, Adam has to use it too, and he's gonna smell gay.
Jessie: He's been googling Brett Favre for the past forty-five minutes. I think he might be gay.

Mom: What are we gonna do now?
Kara: I don't care what you do. Get drunk and get on the tram.

Kara: Let's just go to the playground.
Everyone else: SHHHHHHH! (not wanting Noah to hear the word 'playground' and freak out)
Kara: Well, it does look like fun.

(We finally make it to the restaurant)
Noah: Yay!
Dad: You're friggin' right, yay.
Laura: Don't say friggin' to the baby!

Mom: Next time, I'll sit on you with my Chiggerass(tm).

Laura: Soft and supple, like a baby's ass!
Mom: Oh, damn!

Kara: I coat my face in stuff cuz I think it makes me look prettier.

Kara: ... and long and behold...
Everyone: It's LO. Lo and behold.
Kara: Oh. I just thought, you know, I long for something and behold! I found it.

Laura: I leaned over to Jenna and said the movie was complex.
Jenna: Oh! I thought you were talking about your contacts.

Mom: Download the megapickles!

(In the Nike store, completely out of context to make her look bad)
Laura: Find me a kid with that body.

Lisa: Oh! I missed 06/07/08!
Jenna: What were you going to do?
Lisa: Notice it.

Adam: Shut your pie hole... happy anniversary!

Laura: Oh my gosh! This pizza is burning hot! What temperature did you cook this pizza at?!
Mom: The normal temperature. Whatever it said on the box.
Laura: I just burned my mouth! I have never burned my mouth on pizza before!

Mom: I like you, Jenn. I just don't like your mix.

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